If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
