i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
