this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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