she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
