Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
