So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
