If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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