I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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