i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
