He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
