Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
