Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
