so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
