I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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