think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
