Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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