Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
