Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
