party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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