so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
