He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
