Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
