You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
