I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
