Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
