I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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