i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
