She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
