That's intense
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
