drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
