She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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