no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
