I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
