That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bet he comes in French.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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