I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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