I hope mine doesn't look like that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
