can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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