Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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