FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
