You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
