Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
