Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
