I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it glows. i had to have it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
