Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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