if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
