what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
