If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
