I feel like I'm in dance class right now
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We just shotgunned beers for America
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
