can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
