Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
